As a Bereavement Midwife I had always found it important to recommend and share the support for parents provided in a well written book.

Zoe Clark-Coates provides a vital account of not only her personal experiences but a collection of other parents’ also.

  One client recently told me “It’s as if she’s been in my head- I can relate to so much of it.”

Yesterday was ‘Rainbow Baby Day’ celebrating a new child’s life after a previous Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Neonatal Death, or the death of a baby with complex medical difficulties. A Rainbow being a sign of hope and ‘Sunshine after the rain’.

 ‘Pregnancy After Loss’ contains accounts of women’s experiences and how they have navigated a subsequent pregnancy. When such anxiety is raging, any support is welcome and the written words in this book can be repeated, absorbed, and reflected upon, hopefully bringing some feeling of calm, or belonging.

The book is relatable for so many parents and gives acknowledgement to pregnant women that they are not alone in times of worry. Fear of something being wrong with the baby can be fleeting or prolonged; as my client said “I’m avoiding the sections of other people’s baby loss as I don’t think that will help me, but the support sections are very good and quite a lot really does resonate with me. It helps just knowing you are not alone on how you think or feel.”

At ‘Taking Baby Steps’ we always suggest trying anything and everything to settle your anxiety in the next pregnancy as there is no single definitive answer for everyone. Attending your local Maternity Unit for reassurance will help dampen down the panic on that day or time but the anxiety may still rear up again. In our Midwifery careers we have experienced women reporting fear of ‘being a nuisance’ or worrying that staff will think “I’m just being daft”, but please remember that is what your Maternity Assessment Unit is there for, and a good Midwife will do her best to alleviate your fears and provide reassurance.

“The Baby Loss Guide” also written by Clark-Coates is hugely valuable for bereaved parents – again written with bitesize sections where you can pick it up and read something of value in a single paragraph.

We have had several copies of this book donated to us by Simon & Zoe Parkes, parents of Declan and Libby and founders of the charity “The Declan John Foundation”. Every client of ours who has been donated a copy of this book has expressed gratitude and value not only for its content but also for being given a copy for them to read at their own pace, in their own space and for this, we at Taking Baby Steps also would like to say ‘thank you’.

Jane and I have decided to start a lending library of books for our clients concerning Baby Loss, Birth Trauma and Women’s issues.

We are compiling an ‘Amazon Wishlist’ of recommended books and if you feel you would like to support the building of our library by donating a book we would be very grateful.

Any suggestions of recommended reads will also be appreciated – email

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